Second Chances
by Atsureki
Summary: 8 years after Weiss is ended Ken is deeply unhappy in his marriage when he suddenly finds Ran again. But Ran isn't who he used to be anymore but then neither is Ken... Are there really any second chances in life?
1. Epilogue

Second Chances

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : I'm just borrowing Weiss to have some fun with them um well fun is probably not the right word but never mind *G*

Paring : Ran/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst 

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.  
This prologue starts with a part that's First person (written in _Italic_), the rest however is not written in that mode. *S*

Prologue

__

You know how you don't always get what you want in life? That sucks but let me tell you, there are something that sucks even worse. It's when you have the things you thought you wanted in life just to realize that you don't want them at all. Trust me I know what I'm talking about! You see I'm 30 years old, I have the perfect wife, a good job, a nice house to live in, a little money tucked away and I'm so god damn miserable I think I'm gonna go insane. When I was younger I was an assassin. You don't believe me, do you? I swear it's the truth! I killed people for money at night and during the days I was a florist. Don't laugh! Being a florist isn't as easy as it sounds. About 8 years ago my team was disolved and my three team-mates and I got new identities. That was a laugh! I wanted out so badly but now I realize that I was so much more happy then than I am now. I was loved and I had a job that made a diffrence. I can see that your ears perk up when I say that I was loved and I know you're wondering who the lucky girl was. Am I right? Sorry to disappoint you all but I wasn't in love with a girl back then. No, my lover was a man. Does that disgust you? Tough luck for you. You know even after 8 years it still hurts to think about him. He's dead now, but then so am I. I've died more times than I care to remember. Two if you're counting, no wait three or is it perhaps four? Who cares!? The point is that the person I am today makes me unhappy and I want out! But how? Look at my wife. She's the one with the sparkly green eyes. Cute, ne? Let's see how cute you think she is after having spent six years with her. The moment we returned from our honey-moon she started trying to change me into something I'm not. I'll let you in on a little secret. I really dislike her and I hate her family, her friends, my job, my life! You think I'm bitter huh? News flash! I am bitter but most of all I'm… I'm unhappy. It's not her fault and it's not really mine either I suppose. But I'm not going to leave her because I promised her that I would be by her side forever and I never break my promises. Well I did break one promise 8 years ago. Do you have any idea of how much agony I've suffered because of that? No, how could you possibly. I promised him, my lover that is, that I would always love him and that I would find him wherever he would go. The first promise I've kept so far, I still love him with all of my heart but the second one… I tried to find him, I really did, even though I signed a contract that forbade me to ever see him again, but I couldn't track him down. Kritiker, the organisation behind us assassins, would kill me if they knew I was telling you about this but I don't really care. Those bastards took away my family, my lover. The four of us were a family and we cared about each other but that didn't matter to them. My wife is calling for me, I have to go. Thanks for listening to me and be careful with the choices you make in life. They have a tendensy to turn on you and bite you in the ass. Oh I'm so rude! I forgot to tell you who I am. Name's Ken, Hidaka Ken.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a deep sigh Ken trotted over to his wife. If she had known him 8 years ago she would have seen how miserable he was but she hadn't so she didn't. It wasn't that she was a bad person but she was raised to go after the things her parents thought were important and that didn't include what her husband needed. Ken was a whipped husband but it wasn't because he couldn't stand up for himself, it was because he had stopped caring long ago. He went through life with a see-through smile but his brown eyes showed the sadness his life brought on him, not that anyone ever looked deep enough to see it though. Ken was a plain man, a kind and sweet man but just the same plain. Actually plain was the wrong word to use since he was very good-looking and all but he was plain in the sense that he never really did anything. He went to work, went home, did what his wife told him to do, went to bed, rose at the crack of dawn and then it all started over again. The brunette had no friends, no hobbies and he was dying inside. At least he had began to die inside until fate decided to throw the poor man some slack by bringing one person back into Ken's life. A person who would need the old Ken back.

~TBC?~

I know, I know, I know, I already have three fics that aren't complete but this idea hit me so I'm trying it on for size *chuckles* Let me know if you think I should continue it or if I should just burn it! Ja/Atsureki


	2. Chapter 1 A Visit From The Past

Second Chances

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : I'm just borrowing Weiss to have some fun with them um well fun is probably not the right word but never mind *G*

Paring : Ran/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst 

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 1. A Visit From The Past

Ken parked his car in his usual place and started walking the familier way to his job. How he hated that place! He hated it with a passion but as usual he kept it inside. When he was younger he had been hot-headed and filled with a love for life. That love had slowly faded until only a little tiny spark remained. It was a normal day so far but that would change pretty soon. The brunette didn't know it yet but someone from his past to pay him a visit. Sighing to himself Ken turned into a small alley. It was a short-cut he took every day. Since he wasn't looking where he was going he fell flat on his face when he stumbled over a pair of long slender legs. Cursing to himself the brunette picked himself up from the ground and turned to look at what had made him fall. A bruised and haggard face greeted him. It was a homeless person no diffrent from any of the others that slept in that alley except for three things. Crimson hair, amethyst eyes and the fact that Ken knew him.

Shocked Ken stared into a face he hadn't seen in eight years and that still haunted him every night. But the face looked diffrent. It was paler than ever and so haggard and worn. The amethyst eyes had lost their strength and coldness, so had the body.  
"Ran?" the brunette asked and stared harder. Dazed eyes looked up at him shining with emptiness. The man didn't reply nor move he just sat there on the filthy street looking lost and sick. "Ran?" he asked again. Finally he got a reaction from the redhead.  
"Go away." Ken frowned. Ran's deep smooth voice hadn't changed but the words he spoke weren't what the brunette had expected. Amethyst eyes flashed with something that he only could interpret as anger and shame. "Go! Away!" Ran repeated and pulled his torn coat around himself.  
"But Ran…" Ken didn't understand. He hadn't seen his former lover in so many years and then suddenly he just showed up. What had gone so wrong that Ran had turned into that? "I just want to help," the brunette mumbled. Ran's eyes turned as cold as they had been back when he had joined Weiss.  
"I needed your help five years ago Ken, where were you then?" the redhead asked blandly. "Take your suit and your briefcase and go to hell!" Staggering Ran got to his feet and stumbled down the alley without looking back. In shock the brunette stared after the man who many years ago had been the center of his life.

Ran wrapped his arms around himself and stumbled forward. How the hell could he just have met Ken? For eight years he had missed that damn man and now he suddenly just turned up again? The redhead shook his head. Fate had a very weird sense of humour that was for sure and Ran didn't like it at all. He was a mess and he knew it all too well but the past five years had been so hard on him. With a low huff he sank down against the wall and rested his tired head in his hands. Five years ago he had started to really give up on life, too empty to really care anymore. He had lost everything, again, and this time he didn't even have anyone to blame. So he had returned to Japan, broken, empty, lonely and on the way of becoming what he now was. A habitual drunkard with no home, no money, no friends, no family, no nothing. Ran brushed away a lock of greasy crimson hair. He was so disgusting and that was how Ken had seen him. The brunette wanted to help him, well that Ran wouldn't allow. He stilled loved that man but he'd rather die than let him take care of him. Beside the love was anger and hurt. Most people are given stupid promises but Ran had really believe Ken when the brunette had promised that he would find him wherever he went. Kritiker had split the team up and as a final nail in their coffins they had been scattered all over the world. He and his sister had been forced to move to America, a land the redhead would forever hate, Yoji was somewhere in Germany. The last time Ran had been able to find Omi the small blonde had been in India but he had never been able to track down Ken. But then he had never looked in Japan. The brunette had been in Tokyo all that time. Ran groaned. He was tired and sober, the latter was worse than the former. Yawning he closed his eyes.

Brown eyes followed the redhead lost in confusion. Ran had asked him where he was five years ago when he had needed the brunette. Ken didn't understand. Where was Aya-chan? Surely she would never allow her brother to fall apart like that? Frowning slightly he checked his watch. Oh great now he was late for work. Growling he picked up his cellphone and called in sick. His wife was out of town for two weeks which meant that no one would know where he was or what he did. Still frowning the brunette walked over to his former lover again. Ran was going to come home with him even if he had to carry the stubborn redhead to his car and tie him to the seat!  
"Ran!" Ken said with a force in his voice he hadn't used in years.  
"Get lost!" was the loving answer he got.  
"I don't think so! Now, get up from there! We're going to my place, you need a shower, new clothes and some breath-mints," the brunette stated firmly and leaned down to come eye to eye with Ran.  
"I'm not going anywhere with you," the redhead muttered sourly. "Ken, leave me alone!" _Not in this lifetime Fujimiya!_ Ken growled inside.  
"Wanna bet on it? I kicked your ass 11 years ago and I can do it again!" Ran stared at him with his empty eyes and huffed.  
"You really would beat the shit out of me wouldn't you Ken?" the redhead asked almost sounding sad.  
"If it'll get you away from this place, you bet you."  
"Have it your way then… I'm too tired to fight with you at the moment." Smiling a real smile that he hadn't used in so many years Ken dragged his former lover to his feet.

The drive went under complete silence. Every now and then Ken glanced at Ran and each time it made him frown harder. How had his former lover gotten so beaten and disgusting? Yes, Ran was disgusting. He smelled badly, he was dirty, shaggy and Ken had never been wanted someone so badly, filthy or not. But he couldn't have Ran, not anymore. He had made a vow to his wife and he would never break it, not even for the redhead. But his heart demanded him to cherish the promises he had made to Ran first. Confused and unhappy Ken parked his car in front of his house.  
"We're here." Ran looked up and raised an eyebrow at the house he saw.  
"How cute," he remarked with sarcasm. "So this is the new Ken huh? Suits, briefcases and spotless houses?" The brunette winced. There was a shred of hate in Ran's voice and he didn't understand why.

Ran snorted as he scrubbed himself clean. He was acting like such a jerk! But seeing all the things Ken had made him angry because he had wanted to be a part of it, a part of Ken's life. Kritiker had made sure he wasn't though. They had taken everything from him, first Weiss, Ken and then his sister. It had been five years but it still hurt so much to think about her. Inside his head Ran could still see the course of events that had stolen him from him. How he ran as fast as he could towards their house as an earthquake shook the ground underneath him and then the whole building just collapsed. Aya had never had a chance. The whole second floor had crushed her to death. Shuddering from the memories the redhead hugged himself. After that he had needed Ken so much. The brunette was all he had had left but he was nowhere to be found, Kritiker had made sure of that. A year later he had returned to Japan, broken and all alone. At first he had tried to get a job but he didn't care enough to keep them. Drinking took away some of the pain and sleeping on the street hadn't bothered him since he didn't care anyway. Sighing deeply he turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist. Ken was back in his life again but what did that mean? Did it mean anything at all? Ran didn't know but he was sure he'd find out soon enough.

The brunette looked up and sighed as he saw Ran coming out from the bathroom. He was nothing more than skin and bones, his fair skin filled with cuts and bruises. And still, still Ken wanted him. His body ached after feeling Ran's pressed against it.   
"I'll get you some clothes to wear," he mumbled and gestured towards his bedroom. Silently his former lover followed him. "I don't think this will fit you but…" Ken pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. Ran took it and carelessly dropped the wet towel on the floor. Brown eyes stared at the naked body before them. That body used to be his to touch, love and taste but not anymore. Ken's heart ached at that. Why couldn't he just be allowed to have this one thing in life? Was it too much to ask to have just one thing that he loved? Obviously it was since he couldn't have Ran. Amethyst eyes met his.  
"Why didn't you come after me?" Ken lowered his eyes at that.  
"I tried Ran, I really did try. But I just couldn't find you." 

~TBC?~

Oh dear this was hell and then some to get out *groans* And it sucked too didn't it?? I dunno this fic might be more than I can handle. We'll see if I keep it going. Ja/Atsureki


	3. Chapter 2 Out Of Reach

Second Chances

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Trust me Weiß are so lucky I don't own them *knows they feel that way* I'm torturing them alot here!

Paring : Ran/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst 

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts. This chapter is short and I'm sorry but this fic is really hard to write *sighs* And I might as well warn you I'm pouring on the angst with buckets! *nods* 

Chapter 2. Out Of Reach

Ran moved around in the small guest-room and sighed. He felt uncomfortable. Ken had changed so much in the eight years that had past. The brunette showed no signs of the sloppy smiling man he had used to be. His house was tidy and just felt so very wrong. Sighing again the redhead left the room and walked downstairs. He needed a drink. After having gone through every drawer and cupboard he realized that there wasn't a drop of alcohol in the house. Annoyed he went into the living-room and glared around. His amethyst eyes landed on some photos or more exactly on one. With a frown he walked up to it and took it in his hands. It was a wedding-photo of Ken and some black haired woman he had never seen before. So Ken was married? The brunette hadn't meantioned it and Ran didn't understand why. Feeling rather depressed he put the picture back and sank down on the couch. Earlier that day Ken had gone out and came back with clothes for Ran. He didn't think the brunette understood how much it had pained him that Ken still new what size he wore and what type of clothes he liked. It was all so familier and yet so out of his reach. He was close to Ken again and that was something he had wanted for so many years but unlike when he dreamt of it he wasn't allowed to touch, love or seek security in those strong arms anymore. Ran needed more then friendship. He needed Ken's love to heal him but he knew he wouldn't get that. The brunette was a man of his word which meant that he would never go back on a promise. Ran hugged himself and curled up on the couch. He was not alone anymore but just the same lonely. Aya-chan was gone and the Ken he loved was gone too. Suddenly tears filled up his violet eyes and he didn't even try to stop them. Crying like a lost child the redhead remembered the time when Ken had been his to love.

Ken quietly left his bedroom and padded down the stairs. He could have sworn he had heard noises. He stopped when he reached the living-room. On the ugly couch his wife had picked out sat Ran. His former lover was crying silently. The brunette felt his heart ache so badly. He had made so many mistakes in his life but this one was probably the worst. Some part of him had given up on ever finding the redhead which had lead to a marriage that made him so unhappy. In the beginning he had really thought that he could love Masami but it was impossible for him. Why? Because she wasn't Ran, she didn't understand him like the redhead did or had. A long time ago he had had the same hopes for a girl named Yuriko. Actually the two diffrent women were a lot alike. Both thought that they owned him, that it was okay for them to change him into something else. But unlike Yuriko, Masami had succeeded. He was no longer Ken, not really. What was left was a pale shadow of a man who now was locked away under a heavy lid of unhappiness. He would have to settle for being Ran's friend and that wasn't enough, it would never be enough. The brunette closed his eyes. Was it so much to ask for, to just once be allowed to have this one thing he wanted so much? He had had asked himself that so many times. All he needed was Ran but his stupidity had made sure he'd never get that. Ken opened his brown eyes again and with sadness and longing he watched the redhead he loved so deeply. He just wanted to run to him, seek comfort in those strong arms, hear that deep smooth voice tell him that everything was going to fine again. Unchecked tears trailed down his cheeks. _Please,_ he begged inside, _I just want to be his again. I just want that love back before I…_ His pleading didn't matter, it never did. Life wasn't fair and he'd never be Ran's again just like Ran would never be his. With his heart lying cracked into pieces around his feet the brunette left. Ken crawled back into his bed and cried himself to sleep. Even before he opened his eyes the next morning he knew that Ran was gone again.

The streets were empty as Ran slowly walked on. He had left Ken's house before the sun rose. It was impossible for him to stay there, it just hurt too much, brought back too many memories that he just couldn't handle. Before he had been able to supress his longing simply because he didn't know what had happened to Ken but now… Now he knew and it was destroying him. His former lover was deeply unhappy, all the kindness and care gone from his eyes and that hurt so much. Ken wasn't suppose to be like that! Ran wanted to help but he wouldn't be allowed. The moment he had realized that the brunette was married he had understood that no matter if the love they had for each other was still there he would never get another chance with Ken. Their time had slipped through their fingers without them even knowing it. The only one he could blame for it was Kritiker. Those people had forced them all apart, ripped friends from each other without even caring. The four of them had signed contracts stating that they were never to have any contact again. Why Ran had never understood and he didn't really care either. He had never had any intention of following that promise anyway. But he had lost Ken because of it. Angry and shuddering in desperation the redhead walked into a store. Moments later he exited hugging a bottle of sake close to his chest. Drinking always helped, it took away the pain and it moved him back to the past where he was happy. 

Ken put down the phone and sighed deeply. His wife was killing him inside. It hurt to think that but it was true. She would never make him happy, she would always destroy him due to her lack of understanding. It wasn't really her fault it was just that they didn't work together at all. He needed understanding, love that came from the heart and he needed someone he could seek comfort in. She needed a perfect Japanese husband who followed the rules. Together with Ken she had gotten that but at the expense of Ken's heart, soul and happiness. For six years she had slowly been killing Hidaka Ken to make room for Narazaki Ken. The problem was that Narazaki was just a fake created to hide Hidaka who was supposed to be dead. Ken left the kitchen and walked out the door, not really going anywhere but away from the house he hated so much. His neighbours said good morning but he didn't reply, didn't even hear them. He was 30 years old and felt like a child who everybody made decisions for, claiming they knew better. Masami bought his clothes, decided what he should do with his time, she had even decided where he should work and Ken had just let her. It didn't matter to him, he was already miserable as it was. What diffrence would a few more things do? So he kept on smiling, nodding, obeying, dying… His wife was happy, her parents were happy, her friends jealous over her perfect husband and Ken? Nobody cared about Ken, not even Ken himself. At least it used to be like that until he stumbled over his former lover. Ran needed help and he was going to get it even if it hurt the brunette to be so closed to him. If Ken couldn't save himself he would at least save the one person he loved.

~TBC?~

I'm still not sure where I'm going with this and it's so hard to write *sighs deeply* The next chapter will probably take me a lifetime to get out but please be patience with me. Ja/Atsureki


	4. Chapter 3 Searching

Second Chances

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Trust me Weiß are so lucky I don't own them *knows they feel that way* I'm torturing them alot here!

Paring : Ran/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst, short chapters 

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 3. Searching

It's not easy when you're looking for something you so desperatly want to find that you can't even think straight. That was something Ken found out the hard way as he ran up and down every street he could find. To others he probably looked like an idiot but he didn't care. Some people stopped to point and laugh but there was nothing funny in his desperate search for Ran. It was devastation that drove him forward even long after his muscles had started objecting. Sweat poured down his face as he pushed himself harder. He had to find Ran! There was no reason in his state of mind, no room for it. He was a 30 year old office-worker who insainly ran up and down the streets of Tokyo looking for his lost former lover. The brunette was almost in tears as he headed down the alley were he had stumbled over Ran the previous day. No sign of the silent redhead anywhere. Panic started shooting through his tired body but he refused to give up. He had to find Ran! It was like he had been separated from the knowledge of how to breathe and now he was searching for a way to get it back. Suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks and sank to his knees. His clothes were glued to his sweaty body and he was panting hard. What if Ran really didn't want to be found? What if his former lover didn't feel anything for him anymore? What if the redhead was dead? Ken shook his head and frowned. He had to pull himself together before he went insane! The sounds from a fight caused him to snap his head up. Two teens were beating the shit out of someone the brunette could see. He drew in a deep breath and stumbled to his feet. It wasn't the first time he had seen kids attacking homeless people but he usually just looked elsewhere, too numb inside to really care anymore. But he was frustrated and angry now. With a dangerous glimt in his eyes the brunette stalked closer.  
"Knock it off!" he ordered and narrowed his brown eyes. The tallest one of the teens, a black haired brat, turned around.  
"Get lost old man!" Ken felt his lips pull up in a growl, almost as if he was a dog, showing his teeth.  
"I might be older than you brat, but I can kick your ass any day!" he spat out and crouched down slightly. For years Siberian had been buried deep down inside but the assassin in Ken was still very much alive.  
"Let's teach him a lesson," the other teen, a blonde, smirked to his friend. Ken tilted his head slightly and a dangerous smile spread across his face. He needed to blow of some steam, get rid of all the years of obeying others, dancing to his wife's pipe. It was only fair that he let the two kids get the first punch. He got hit in the stomach with enough force to make him gasp for his next breath but he welcomed the pain. Ken cracked his neck slightly and felt how his instincs took over.  
"That one was on the house," he smiled and moved closer. "The next one you'll have to work for." Quickly he darted forward and delivered a hard thrust of his fist into the black haired teen's face. The minute he hit flesh the scene infront of him changed. It was no longer two stupid kids he was fighting. With fire in his eyes the brunette face two targets, two evil-doers that needed to be stopped.

With shaky hands Ken back away from the two teens he had been fighting. If a scream hadn't stopped him he would have killed them. Afraid of himself the brunette wiped the blood from his hands. His manic eyes landed on a huddling form. Carefully he approached. He recognized the clothes he had bouth the previous days and let out a small whimper as he saw his former lover lying drunk and beaten badly on the filthy ground. Glass littered the ground and Ran was lying in it.  
"Ran?" he asked softly and kneeled next to the redhead. He got no answer, no movement. The stench of alcohol made his eyes water as he pulled the tall man into his arms. "Please Ran answer me." Amethyst eyes fluttered open and dimmly focust on his face.  
"Ken, why did you leave me? Why didn't you help me?" Ran slurred sadly. "Why did you let them take Aya from me?" Ken started shaking again. Those questions hit his guilt dead on. "I'm so sorry Ran, I didn't know," he croaked out and tried to lift the redhead from the ground. But he was too tired from running and fighting. His hands shook badly as he wiped some of the blood from Ran's face. "Please Ran, you have to help me I can't carry you." The redhead made a feeble attempt to rise and Ken more or less dragged him to his feet. With his former lover leaning heavily against him the brunette started walking. He would have to get a taxi to take them home. Tired and worried about Ran he waved one down and struggled to get the redhead into the backseat.

Gently Ken stripped Ran from his torn and bloody clothes before he lowered him down onto his bed. The redhead's back was bleeding from several cuts and there were still pieces of glass in the wounds. As careful as he could Ken started picking out the splinters. Ran didn't move a muscle and that worried the brunette. When he was done he cleaned the pale body and dressed all the wounds he could see. He was so tired and needed to sleep. Exhaused he slipped into bed next to his former lover and closed his eyes. Ran had either fallen asleep or past out. Ken sighed. He had saved the redhead this time but what if he tried to leave again? For how long could he protect Ran from himself? His former lover was a mess, so beaten and broken that only time would tell if the real Ran would ever come back again. When the brunette's mind was asleep his body succumbed to the longing. Ken curled up against the redhead with a content sigh and wrapped his strong arms around the body he had missed for eight years.

~TBC~


	5. Chapter 4 Inappropriate Touches

Second Chances

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Trust me Weiß are so lucky I don't own them *knows they feel that way* I'm torturing them alot here!

Paring : Ran/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst, short chapters 

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 4. Inappropriate Touches

Ran woke up feeling pretty damn miserable. His head hurt like hell from a massive hangover, his back was beyond words and the rest of his body wasn't much better. But somehow it all faded. Confused and unfocust he tried to decide how he could feel so good even though his was in so much pain. A sudden squeeze around his waist filled him in. His left eye opened slowly and was greeted by a mop of brown hair.  
"Ken," he whispered to himself. His former lover was resting against his chest just like he had used to every night before… Ran cut off that line of thinking. Half of him was thrilled about feeling Ken's warm body again and the other half was deeply unhappy about it. Why? Because it just made it so much more difficult for the redhead to supress his feelings. He didn't remember anything about what had happened the previous day after he had left the brunette's house but he had obviously been in an accident or in a fight. What he wanted to know was how Ken had found him and why he was in the brunette's bedroom. Trembling he raised his hand and lovingly ran his fingers through soft brown hair. He had always loved Ken's hair, it was so soft and touching it had always soothed him. But he shouldn't touch Ken, shouldn't love him, it was inappropriate. Ran closed his eyes to stop the tears from falling. This was the exact reason why he had left. It hurt so much to be so close without being allowed to do the things that he had taken for granted all those years ago. Besides, he had no way of knowing whether Ken was clinging to him because it was him or if the brunette just thought he was sleeping next to his wife. A pang of hurt ran through the redhead. Ken's wife. Who was she? Did the brunette love her? Ran sighed sadly and pushed away those thoughts. Something was obviously wrong in his former lover's life since Ken seemed so sad and was so unlike his old self. The slightly shorter man moved and mumbled something. He was waking up and the redhead didn't know if that was good or bad. Again Ken moved.  
"Ran." The redhead swallowed. Ken had always mumbled his name in his sleep but why did he still do that? They hadn't seen each other for so many years. Slowly the brunette shifted until he was almost leaning over Ran, still not completely awake. Confusion sped through the redhead as he stared at his former lover. It happened in slow motion and still Ran found himself too slow to stop it. Soft lips pressed against his as a warm hand cupped his cheek. He couldn't have pushed Ken away even if he had wanted to, instead his arm pulled the brunette closer. His former lover still tasted the same and the kiss still made his whole body shiver. Without a thought in his mind Ran brushed his tongue against the brunette's lips asking for access. Ken gave it to him immediatly, with no hesitation what so ever. The redhead carefully felt his way inside his former lover's mouth. It felt like home, a place he knew so well. The kiss deepened with each heartbeat that pounded inside Ran. Ken hands roamed over the redhead's naked chest with experience that came from having done it so many times before. He knew exactly where to touch, where his former lover would respond the most. To Ran it was hell. He knew he shouldn't let Ken continue and yet his body refused to stop it. It had wanted this for so long and just wanted to take as much as the brunette was willing to offer. During their years as lovers they had developed some sort of rules. Ran was the dominat one and Ken had never questioned it nor objected to it but when they kissed the brunette took over, he always had. He stated the terms of the kissing and the redhead was more than happy to give up the control, especially now. A soft moan escaped him as Ken left his mouth to gently suckle on the pale skin on Ran's neck. The brunette's hand was setting his skin on fire when it softly caressed his stomach and moved further down to rest on his thigh. Ken caressed him slowly and moved further up until he rested his hand over the redhead's underwear. He was becoming aroused fast and unwillingly because he knew he could not have Ken. A tear fell from his amethyst eyes. He had to stop the brunette who probably wasn't even aware of what he was doing. He used all his will-power and with regret the redhead removed Ken's hand.  
"Don't," he said quietly. Brown eyes opened slowly and looked at him in confusion. "Don't touch me." Ran's heart was dying but he had to stop the brunette.  
"Why?" his former lover asked and reached out to place his hand on the redhead's cheek. Ran turned his face away and swallowed.  
"Just don't touch me Ken. It's wrong." Ken looked even more confused. For a while he just stared into amethyst eyes then he seemed to catch up with reality. Quickly he backed away with a shadow of guilt in his chocolate gaze.

Ken swallowed hard as he put more distance between himself and the redhead. He had forgotten, or perhaps just ignored, reality. It had just felt so right, so natural to touch and tast Ran again. Inside he was crying. It had never felt like this with Masami and he knew that it never would. He only had that kind of love and want for one person and after eight years he was all too aware of that there would never be anyone else who made him feel the way Ran did. The redhead was his soulmate, his other half and without him Ken was like a broken toy. Carefully he looked at his former lover and winced in pain when he saw the tear that slowly trailed down his alabaster skin. He had made Ran cry and he had almost betrayed his promise to Masami but touching the redhead still felt so right. It was all he wanted, all he needed so why couldn't he have that? Why was life so unfair, so cruel? A whimper escaped him and Ran's violet eyes turned to look at him. The sadness and despair in them mirrored his own.  
"I… I…"  
"Don't Ken. It doesn't matter," Ran interrupted him and the brunette could see how his bland mask slipped back into place, shutting out all feelings. With effort the redhead got off of the bed and left the bedroom. Alone the brunette stopped fighting the tears. They flooded his eyes and poured down his face as he let out a low sufficated scream of agony. He couldn't take it anymore. There was no way out of the hell he lived in, no way for him to hide from the torment. Had he lost Ran completely along with any chance of ever being happy again? He had so many reasons to be with Ran and only one to stay with his wife. His promise to her was the only thing that kept him tied to a life he didn't want. But he had made promises to the redhead too and those he had broken. It was because of those failed vows that he couldn't walk out on Masami even though staying was killing him. That he suffered he might be able to live with but he was hurting Ran too. It was the last thing he wanted and it was causing him so much pain. The redhead needed him in ways that Ken was kept from offering. His former lover had lost his beloved sister, how Ken didn't know and it didn't really matter. That was without a doubt what had turned Ran into the broken, beaten and lost man he was now. If Ken had kept the promises he had made eight years ago he might have been able to save the redhead. Again guilt washed over him. No matter what the future might hold he had failed the person he loved the most and now he was doing it all over again. He loved Ran, his heart, mind and soul, it all belonged to the red haired former assassin. But even so Ken could not give himself to Ran for his body he had tied to the woman who he had married. The hurt he felt inside threatened to rip him apart, sufficate him so Ken buried his face in the pillow that still smelled like the redhead and cried until there were no more tears to shed. Eventually his exhausted and tormented body dragged him to sleep.

~TBC~

I don't think I've ever written anything this angsty before. Maybe Forever Not Yours *ponders* Anyways do you ppl really like this stuff??? *frowns* I mean I sorta do but then I'm love when fics pour on the angst by the buckets *shakes head at herself* Well lemme know, ne? Ja/Atsureki


	6. Chapter 5 Words Are Like Weapons, They W...

Second Chances

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Trust me Weiß are so lucky I don't own them *knows they feel that way* I'm torturing them alot here!

Paring : Ran/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, ANGST! and if you're like me you might want to bring a tissue or two for this chapter. 

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

The title to this chapter is stolen from 'If I Could Turn Back Time' by Cher. Sue me and I'll… I'll cry!

Chapter 5. Words Are Like Weapons, They Wound Sometimes

Ken could tell that Ran wasn't happy about being at his house but he had stayed there. The redhead hardly spoke at all anymore and he refused to meet his former lover's eyes. Of course Ken understood why but that didn't mean it hurt any less. The air crackled with tension whenever they were close and it made them both uncomfortable. After having spent a week at the brunette's house Ran looked a lot better. The bruises and cuts had started to fade and heal, Ken's stubborness when it came to eating had put a little weight onto the redhead's skinny body but the disturbing look in those amethyst eyes remained the same. There was sadness, anger, hurt and a shadow of loss in them that just killed Ken inside. The pressure the brunette was under was getting too him and caused Ken to become moody. He was so confused and unsure about what his life was that he barely knew up from down anymore. It didn't exactly help that his wife would return in a week and then Ran would be gone. The redhead couldn't stay there when Masami came back, she'd never allow it. A part of Ken wanted Ran to be there wanted his wife would learn who the redhead was because she would never stay with him once she found out that her perfect husband had been in a gay relationship. But that wouldn't be fair to Ran and not to Masami either for that matter. Ken looked up when his former lover came into the kitchen. He had left the house an hour earlier to take a walk but the brunette suspected that walking wasn't the only thing he had been doing. Those amethyst eyes were shiny and a little bit dazed.  
"Have you been drinking?" Ken asked flatly and glared at the redhead. A bland look was the only answer he got as usual. "Have you been drinking!" he asked again much harder.  
"Hn."  
"Why Ran? You've been sober for almost a week, why start again?"  
"Because," his former lover shrugged.  
"Nice answer! Almost as good as your Hn's," Ken snapped. This was getting to him. The pressure, the inner turmoil and desperation was threatening to break him completely. He could feel anger taking over his mind and he fought it with all he had but it wouldn't be enough, not when Ran was acting like that.  
"If you don't like my answers, stop asking me questions," the redhead said with enough ice in his voice to make hell freeze over.  
"You're over 30 Ran how about acting your age? Right now you're nothing but a spoiled little brat!" Amethyst eyes turned frosty and dangerous at that.  
"At least I'm not staying in a marriage that makes me miserable," Ran grated out. That was all Ken could take. The truth just hurt too much.  
"Fuck you! And you're one to talk huh? Drinking, sleeping the gutter covered in your own filth? A part of me is thankful Aya is dead because if she could see you know she'd go under from disgust!" The words had barely fallen from Ken's lips before he caught up with what he was screaming. Ran's eyes lost the coldness and anger and his face just… died. The brunette closed his eyes. How could he say such things, such cruel things? "Ran I… I…" he stammered and carefully looked at his former lover. The redhead had turned his back to him and his form looked defeated.  
"No Ken, you're right… I'm really nothing more than a pathetic drunk who can't stop feeling sorry for myself just because I've lost everyone I loved." Ran's voice was broken and the brunette knew he was near tears.  
"Ran I didn't…"  
"Mean it? Oh I think you did Ken. It doesn't really matter, you see I'm completely aware of what I am, what I've turned into. There's really no need for you inform me about who I am." The redhead turned around again and met Ken's eyes. "Do you think I want to be like this? If I knew any other way to deal with life I would do that instead but there's nothing left Ken! Do you understand what I'm saying? I don't have anything left! I don't have Aya and I don't have you and… and… it's just too hard, it just hurts too much!" Ran almost yelled with his face wet from tears that now flowed down his cheeks. "I'm sorry that I'm not as strong as you thought I was! I'm sorry that I can't handle the pain like I used to, but Ken, you never understood where my strength came from, did you? You always thought you were the one who needed me, didn't you ever get that I needed you just as much if not more. When I didn't have you anymore I lost my strenght. So yes, I am sorry I'm so weak and pathetic but… but… without you it's just too hard…" Trembling and crying like a lost child Ran swirled around and was gone. Ken stared after his former lover and felt how tears fell from his eyes. The redhead was right, he had never understood how much Ran needed him but he should have. He had always known that the icy and hard mask his former lover put up was there to protect a fragile inside.  
"What have I done?" Ken whimpered and hugged himself. What gave him the right to treat Ran like that just because he himself was hurting so badly. And where had the redhead gone off to? Quickly Ken went after him but to his surprise the front door was still locked. Confused and scared he looked around and spotted something crimson in the window. Ran was in the backyard. He was standing with his back towards the house as far away as he could come without leaving the yard.

The brunette carefully approached the taller man. He had to do something, say something. His broken heart hurt so much it was difficult for him to breathe. Guilt burnt inside of him as his love for Ran revolted against what he had said. When he reached his former lover he stopped, not sure what he was suppose to do. What could he possibly do or say? How was Ran ever going to forgive him for what he had done? A quiet sob from the trembling redhead made Ken's shattered heart take controle. His hand took a hold of Ran's arm and turned him around before the brunette pulled his former lover into his arms. There was no struggle, no attempt to push him away, instead the redhead just pressed his face against Ken's neck and grabbed his shirt. Ran was completely broken. The brunette held him tigh and gently rocked him.  
"I'm sorry Ran, so sorry. I didn't mean what I said, please believe me," Ken begged and ran his hands over his former lover's back. "You were right I never understood and I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most. I didn't mean to hurt you so badly Ran but it pains me to see how you treat yourself, because I love you so much. I've never loved anyone else but you and I know I never will. You're everything to me Ran but I just keep messing it up. First I couldn't find you when Kritiker split us up, then I was so stupid that I married Masami and now I've hurt you so much." He was just babbling away but it didn't matter as long as he could make Ran understand how sorry he was. "I just want to be back in your life again, it's the only place I've ever been happy. I want to be yours again Ran, I miss you so much. It's… it's just so horrible without you. I want to wake up next to you again, hold you when you have nightmares, listen to you breathe when you sleep. Ran please let me come back to you again. Please? I know I'm being selfish but… please let me come back." Ken was crying hard and his voice was muffled with tears as he desperatly clinged to Ran's body. His promises to Masami were forgotten at the moment and no longer mattered. What he needed and wanted was Ran. The redhead took a step back and Ken froze inside. Was he being rejected, pushed away? His former lover's eyes were red and puffy from crying but there was no anger in them. Instead of saying anything Ran cupped the brunette's cheek and tilted his head slightly before he before he brought his own face closer. Their lips met softly at first as the redhead gently leaned forward. Ken reacted at once and opened his mouth to invite Ran to deepened the kiss. His invitation was responded to immediately and the kiss grew more serious as the redhead gently entered his former lover's mouth with his tongue. The taste of Ran in Ken's mouth sent flashed of longing and joy through the brunette's body even though it also tasted from the alcohol he had been drinking earlier. This was what he needed, what he had missed for so long. To feel and taste Ran again, to know that he loved him. The need to breathe finally forced them to pull apart.  
"Ran, make love to me, please," Ken pleaded hoarsly. The love and passion in the redhead's eyes disappeared and the bland mask was forced back in place.  
"I love you Ken, I will always love you but you're married. There's no room in your life for me anymore. I should never have stayed here in the first place because it just makes this so much harder for the both of us. Don't try to find me again," Ran said quietly before he walked back towards the house.  
"But Ran…" Ken called out. The redhead stopped and turned around. His face was shadowed with hurt and hoplessness.  
"Ken we both know there is no such thing as second chances in life. Move on, please? If not for yourself then for me. Try to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted for you. Forget me Ken, it's the best thing for both of us." With those words Ran walked into the house and out of Ken's life again.

~TBC~

Phew! Damn I cried some when I wrote this *shakes head* And I'm sorry if Ran is way OOC here but he needed to be like that for the story. Besides, who knows how he would react in a situation like this anyways? And yes Ken was a prick for saying that to Ran but it was sort of the truth ne? Not to mention the fact that the poor man is under a lot of stress and pressure here. I think we need to hire a sniper to take out his damn wife *bah* Damn woman is standing between Kenken and Ranners! Ja/Atsureki


	7. Chapter 6 Neighbours Will Always Gossip

Second Chances

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Trust me Weiß are so lucky I don't own them *knows they feel that way* I'm torturing them alot here!

Paring : Ran/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, ANGST! and if you're like me you might want to bring a tissue or two for this chapter. 

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts.

Chapter 6. Neighbours Will Always Gossip

The house was quiet but not empty. Ken had been sitting on the couch for hours or was it perhaps days? He didn't know and he didn't really care either. Since Ran had left him again his personal hell had been upgraded to something so much worse. There were no feelings exept a deep corroding sadness in his brown eyes. But it wasn't killing him anymore, Hidaka Ken was already dead, destroyed by the cruel twists of fate. He had tired to find Ran again, despite the redhead's order not to, but he had failed. His former lover was nowhere to be found and for all the brunette knew Ran wasn't even in the country anymore. It had been six days but time did nothing to ease the pain, instead it just seemed to make it worse. With each minute that ticked by the stabbing hurt in his heart increased until he hardly could breathe anymore. Actually Ken found that strange since his heart should be dead just like the rest of him. In his mind he went back to the days when life had been alive, when he had been alive. A part of him knew that he would probably never see Ran again, the redhead was gone and he had taken Ken's life with him. The company he worked for had grown tired of his faked illness and had fired him but what did it matter? Ken sank further down on the couch and hugged himself. He was constantly cold, trembled but nothing he did helped for the freezing feeling came from within. Deep in his misery he didn't hear the door open or the high-pitched voice that called his name. A tall slender woman with green eyes walked into the living-room and wrinkled her nose in disgust.  
"KEN!" His head snapped up and he looked at his wife. "This place smells!" she exclaimed and frowned. "And you look disgusting." Ken just shook his head. Yes, that would be the first thing Masami noticed.  
"You're home early," the brunette said hoarsly and made no attempt what so ever to hide the desperation in his voice knowing that his wife wouldn't pick up on it anyway.  
"Go take a shower and change clothes I will not have something that filthy in my house!" Ken couldn't help but let out a bitter and sad laugh. He was sitting there completely crushed, drowning in sadness and the only thing she cared about was that he was flawing her perfect image. Shakingly he ran a hand through his greasy hair. "Well? Go on!" Too broken and tired to argue he rose to his feets and walked upstairs. He would go back to being Narazaka completely again. Following the orders Masami gave him, being the perfect dog who just sat around and waited for its owner's next command. It would raise hell when she found out he had been fired but just as most other things it didn't really matter. He was worse off this time and he knew why. When he and Ran had been forced apart eight years ago he had still had hope and it hadn't been his fault but now… It was because of him that the redhead couldn't stay and for a week he had had his former lover back which just as Ran had said made it so much worse. Numb inside out Ken stepped into the shower and let the warm water clean him but it only worked on the outside. Inside he remained tainted by hurt and despair. He turned off the water and dried himself with a deep unhappy sigh. With time he might get used to this new life but he knew that he would never accept it.

Sometimes a month goes so fast and sometimes it feels like forever. Ken got into his car and just sat there for a while. He had a new job that was the same as his last and he hated it just as much. His co-workers and tried to get to know the silent brunette but they soon gave up. He did what he was suppose to but that was it as usual. Masami was again satisfied, especially since this job paid better than the one he had gotten fired from. Ken sighed and started the engine. His marriage was crumbling but his wife didn't seem care. On the outside it still looked good and that was the only thing that mattered. He just couldn't touch her anymore or sleep next to her so he had moved into the guestroom. Ran occupied his mind every minute of the day and it still hurt so much. Sometimes he thought he saw his former lover on the street, in a store or walking past his house but it was never Ran, always some stranger. He desperately wanted to know what had happened to the redhead, if he was okay. Ken parked his car infront of the house and reluctlantly headed inside. Going home was something he really hated. The minute he walked in he knew that something had happened. Masami was sitting in the kitchen with a shadow of anger in her green eyes. A little confused Ken glanced at her and frowned. What had he done this time?  
"Ken sit down, we need to talk," she said flatly and nodded to the other side of the table. Obediently he did as he was told. "I had coffee with Norika today." Ken raised an eyebrow. What did that have to do with him?  
"Oh." Masami glared at him.  
"She asked me a lot of questions about a good looking redhead who stayed with you last week." Ken bit his lip and squirmed. It had never occured to him that his neighbours might get curious about Ran but it should since they were always gossiping about anything and everything.  
"Aa, he's a friend that stopped by for a few days," he shrugged without meeting her eyes.  
"A friend? How come I've never heard of him before?"  
"Masami," Ken sighed. "Before I met you I worked at a flower shop and Ran worked there too. I haven't seen him in eight years when I met him on my way to work. I invited him to stay for a few days. It's not some big mystery."  
"Then do you mind telling why Norika claims she saw you and this… Ran kissing in our backyard!?" Masama spat out. Ken closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. He hated lying and perhaps it was time to come clean.  
"Are you sure you want to know?" he asked quietly.  
"Yes Ken, please do explain to me why my husband was kissing another man!" She was extremly angry that was evident in her voice.  
"Okay, Ran and I were lovers for more than two years before we were forced apart. He was my first love." _And my only love,_ Ken added in his head. He looked up and met his wife's eyes. She was furious and her whole face twitched with rage.  
"And why did you never tell me about this? Do you think I would have married you if I knew about this?!" she yelled and banged her small fist into the table.  
"No you wouldn't have married me if you had known about Ran and me and do you know what Masami. I really wish I had told you because this marriage has done all but killed me," Ken sighed and left the kitchen.  
"You have embarrassed me and my family Ken! I demand an apology!" Masami yelled after him. The brunette swirled around and came back. He had really thought that the hot-headed Hidaka was dead but apparently some little shred had managed to stay alive.  
"You want an apology?! For six years I've been your dog, your perfect husband. I've obeyed your every wish even though it's been killing me inside. Never once did you notice how miserable I was and even if you had you wouldn't have cared! You're the most selfish person I have ever met Masami! You don't give a fuck about me as long as everybody else thinks you have the Japanese dream! After six years you still don't understand me and I don't think you want to, you don't even know me. I should have left you years ago but I stayed because I promised I would always be by your side." His voice was angry and hurt as he screamed at the woman who was his wife.  
"How dare you say such things to me? I'm not the one who's doing things that aren't right!"  
"You're right about that at least! I'm the one who's being doing things that are wrong! Wrong because I never should have married you in the first place. I don't love you and I know you don't love me either. Wrong because I gave up on Ran. Wrong because I let him walk out of my life again just so that I could keep my promise to you. A promise you don't even care about!" Masami stared at her husband as tears ran down his tanned cheeks. "Can you even grasp how much I love him? He walked out that door just so that I wouldn't break another promise because he knows how important they are to me but this time I cherished the wrong one. I should have broken the promise I gave to you and kept the one I gave to him eight years ago." Ken hung his head and felt how the tears stung his eyes.  
"I'm sorry Ken." The quiet words made him snap his head up again. " I'm sorry I never noticed how you felt… Ken I would have let you go if you would have just told me." He didn't understand. The woman infront of him wasn't his wife, it was the kind and sweet girl he had met a little over six years ago. "You were wrong about one thing though, I do love you and I'm sorry I never made that clear enough." The brunette sighed inside. It was good to hear that from Masami but it was too late. Ran was already gone.

~TBC~

At least Masami has some brains and heart ne? She's not really a bad person in my head, she's just um well selfish and thoughtless. Now, will Ken leave her to go after Ran? And just what has happened to Ranners? Questions, questions, questions… Ja/Atsureki


	8. Chapter 7 There's No Me Without You

Second Chances

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Weiß ain't mine but I bet Ran and Ken wish they were in this chapter! *LOL*

Paring : Ran/Ken

Warnings : Yaoi, OCC, angst, Lemon (If you can't stand to read graphic stuff about two men having sex you might want to run now!)

Notes : Stuff written in _Italic_ are thoughts. This is the last chapter of this fic *scratches head* It just sorta turned out that way. Oh well here you go and thanks to my reviewers!!!! You all mean so much to me! *glomps to y'all*

Chapter 7. There's No Me Without You

It was hopeless, impossible. Ken massaged his temples and sighed deeply. Ran was nowhere to be found. He had been searching for his former lover for two weeks but hadn't found a single sign of him. But he wouldn't give up, he would never give up. Ran was someone who he just had to find or his life would never have any meaning again. Tired he sank down on the seat in his car and closed his eyes.  
"Where are you Ran?" Of course he got no answer to his pleading question. The silence almost seemed to be mocking him. Was the redhead still in Tokyo? Still in Japan? Still alive? Ken shook his head. Ran was still alive, he had to be. But the image of his lover's face when they had argued in the kitchen refused to leave him alone. The redhead had been so broken and lost and that still pained Ken so much. What if Ran decided to just give up on life? _No,_ the brunette objected inside, _Ran would never try to kill himself._ But was that really true? Maybe Ran would never slit his wrist, shoot himself or OD on pills but hadn't he been tryin to kill himself for a long time by drinking and not caring? Ken shuddered. "I am going to find you Ran and when I do I'll never gonna let you go again!"

Amethyst eyes filled with pain and sadness watched a house. Their owner hadn't moved for a long time and he didn't seem to notice how people were staring at him. He just hadn't been able to stay away, it just hurt too much. A woman walked up to the house and turned around to look at him. She frowned for a moment before she came up to him.  
"Excuse me." He turned his face to her. "Might you be Ran?" The redhead frowned slightly.  
"Hai?" he answered with hesitation.  
"Would you please come inside." It wasn't a question, it was an order. Confused and a little shocked Ran followed her. "Sit down," she said softly when they entered the kitchen.  
"What do you want?" he asked flatly and remained standing.  
"He's looking for you." Ran blinked.  
"He?"  
"Ken. He… He left me." Ah so this was Masami, he should have recognized her from the picture. Ran suddenly shook his head. Did she just tell him that Ken had left her?  
"Where is he?" the redhead asked quietly.  
"I'm not sure but he is looking for you Ran," Masami sighed.  
"Why… why did he leave you?" Ran just didn't understand. Ken would never break a promise but she was telling him that he had.  
"I told him to. When I came back I found out about you and I finally realized how unhappy he's been with me. He's always loved you Ran and he's dying inside without you." The redhead felt how his heart clenched together painfully at hearing that. "I've been such a selfish witch all these years and I never even noticed how miserable he was. I just hope you two can be together because I know that is the only thing that will make Ken happy again."  
"Do you have any idea of where he's gone?" Ran asked with his voice choked.  
"No but I can call him on his cellphone. I owe him a lot for putting up with me," Masami smiled sadly and rose. "Wait here." She left the kitchen and he heard how she dialed a number. "Ken, it's me. Would you mind coming over for a little while, there's something I need to give you." She talked for a short while and then hung up again. "He'll be here in 20 minutes."

Ken muttered as he walked up to his former home. Was Masami gonna make trouble? No, he didn't think so. After all she was the one who had earged him on to go search for Ran. But what did she want? He knocked on the door and decided to just walk in when he got no answer.  
"Masami?" he called out. The house seemed empty. Frowning he walking into the kitchen. It was empty. Ken scowled slightly and headed for the living-room instead. He looked around and felt how his intire body froze. There on the ugly couch sat Ran. The brunette didn't know what to say, what to do so he just stood there and stared.  
"Ken," the redhead said with his deep smooth voice and it was music to Ken's ears. Ran rose but didn't come any closer. The brunette felt how his body trembled as he ran his brown eyes over his former lover.  
"Ran!" he suddenly cried out and threw himself at the taller man. His arms wrapped around a slender waist and he buried his face against the warm chest. It only took a moment before Ran embraced him and held the brunette close. "Don't ever leave me again," Ken choked out and tightened his grip, afraid that it was just a dream.  
"I won't Ken, I won't and promise that you'll always be here with me." The brunette wept silently.  
"I promise. But how… where…" A hand caressed his hair.  
"I tried to leave town but I just couldn't. I stayed at a motel but I just had to come and see you again. Ken, it sounds stupid I know but I don't think I can live without you," Ran said softly. The brunette looked up and met tearfilled amethyst eyes.  
"I'm not going to give you a reason to see if you can or not," Ken said firmly. "I already know that without you I die inside. Ran make me feel alive again."  
"I love you Ken, I'll do anything to make you happy." The brunette sought Ran's lips and kissed him with hunger and joy.  
"Make love to me Ran, make me yours again," he pleaded into the redhead's mouth and smiled when his words cause Ran's breathing to faulter.  
"Here?"  
"Where's Masami?" Ken suddenly remembered that his former wife should be somewhere around.  
"She went to see her parents again. Told me to tell you that she hopes you'll be happy now."  
"Oh I will Ran, I already am happy as long as you're not leaving."  
"I was thinking about going upstairs but I think I want you to come with me," Ran said seductively. The brunette smiled and then became serious.  
"Eh Ran?" The redhead tilted his head slightly at the sad tone in Ken's voice.  
"Aa?"  
"I'm sorry about what I said that day in the kitchen. It was just so hard to have you so close without… being able to love you. I've missed you so much these years and I love you so much it hurts inside. You're a part of me Ran and without you I feel… I feel like a broken toy." Ken fought the tears but they fell anyway.  
"Sch koi. I know, I know… What you said that day was mostly true so I forgave you the first time you apologized. I never thought it would be so hard to be separated from you. At first I thought Aya would make it easier but as much as I loved her she's wasn't you. You're my soulmate Ken, my love, my life and I'm never going to leave you again. There's just no me without you." The brunette had never heard such words from Ran's mouth before and even though others probably would have laughed and called it silly, sappy and sugercoated he knew that Ran meant every single one of them with all his heart. He knew that because he felt the very same way.

Ran gently lowered the brunette down on the bed. His eyes roamed over the body he had been missing like crazy for over eight years. Gently he ran his hands across a smooth chest as Ken claimed his lips again. He didn't try to take control of the kiss and he knew the brunette didn't want him to just yet. They had never fought for dominance and they never would. Their rules had been stated because both of them wanted it the same way. Ran wanted to protect and give all he could while Ken wanted to feel security and love. It meant in no way that the brunette just took and he was not selfish but it was what both of them needed. The redhead left his lover's kiss-swollen lips and licked his way across Ken's neck. Finally he could taste that skin again. His whole being remembered the feelings and tastes and spun with recognition. Unlike the last time they had been in that bed together there was no hesitation now. It was allowed, they were both free to love and own each other again. Ran wanted to go slow but he knew that it was not the time for that. Ken was already too far gone and so was he. Didn't matter, they would have plenty of times to tease, taste and make love for hours and hours.  
"Ran," the brunette whispered softly and caressed his lover's face.  
"Hai Ken?"  
"I need… need… you…"  
"You need me what koi?" the redhead asked unable to resist to tease Ken a little by acting innocent. The brunette scowled at him and pulled him up for a breathtaking kiss.  
"Stop playing around Fujimiya! I need you." Ran smiled softly and nodded.  
"I know Ken, I need you too." It had been such a long time since he had made love and he knew that it was the same for Ken. Frowning slightly he looked around the bedroom.  
"Bathroom," the brunette mumbled. "First shelf to the right." Reluctlantly Ran left the bed and headed into the bathroom. He found what he was looking for and quickly returned to Ken.

Ken was at the end of his rope. His whole body was screaming after Ran, begging to be touched and handled. He knew that the redhead prefered the gentle painfully slow love-making that drove him insane but he wouldn't be able to stand that now. All he wanted and needed was to feel Ran buried inside of him. Eight years was too long to go without that kind of heaven. The redhead covered his body and Ken let out a deep sigh of comfort. He felt so safe, loved and happy with the warm feeling of Ran close to him. Slowly his lover shifted back and settled down besided his legs. Soft caring fingers brushed against his hip, across his tight. For a moment the brunette wondered if his muscles were going to snap since his whole body felt like a guitar-string. Willingly and eagerly Ken spread his legs for his lover. Every second that ticked by feel like a second when he wasn't Ran's. His body demanded to be owned by the redhead, it was the only thing it wanted. The redhead stopped his actions for a brief moment to dip his fingers into the jar he had retrived from the bathroom. Just seeing that made Ken's body tense up even more and he became harder. He wanted to ask Ran to hurry up but he knew that it would do no good. There was nothing that could rush the redhead when it came to this. Gently Ran brushed against his lover's erection and got a load moan in response before his finger caressed its way inbetween firm buttocks. Ken spread his legs further apart and swallowed to keep himself in check. The redhead leaned forward and genly nipped at the brunette's bruised lips as his finger slowly slipped inside. A quiet whimper escaped Ken's lips and his whole body pleaded for more. But Ran took his time, gently working his way back and forth before he added another digit. Carefully he stretched his lover's body to make sure that the pain would be minimum. The brunette complained through his body's movement and with low moans but Ran refused to hurry. A silent gasp of pain escaped Ken when Ran added a third finger.  
"It's going to hurt Ken," the redhead mumbled into his lover's mouth.  
"I don't care, just please… I need more," the slightly shorter man begged, his eyes filled with need and love.  
"Sch, I know…" The fingers were removed and Ran settled between Ken's legs. He took one of the pillows and slid it underneath the brunettes lower back. Their eyes locked and for a while they just looked at each other.  
"I love you Ran," Ken murmured softly and almost drowned in the violet gaze.  
"I love you too koi, always." The brunette's heart almost jumped out of his chest from joy at hearing those words again. He watched as Ran coated himself and moved forward softly pushing against Ken's entrance. The redhead waited for a moment to collect himself and then slowly and gently began to slide inside his lover's willing body. There was pain, quite a lot of it since it had been so long, but the brunette didn't care. He knew what would come and he wanted it desperatly. After what seemed to be half a lifetime Ran was completely buried inside of Ken and there he paused. The brunette was thankful for being given a chance to adjust.  
"Ran, please move," he begged when he felt ready. If he wasn't give some sort of movement soon he'd go insane. The redhead complied and gently pulled out slightly before pushing back inside. Ken moaned softly. There was still some pain but the pleasure was taking over fast. Ran set up a slow pace of thrusting and shifted slightly in search of the brunette's sweet-spot. He found it almost immediately and got a low cry of pleasure from his lover. The pace picked up and the moans became huskier.

The feeling of Ken's body completely surrounding him was heaven and the eight years that had kept him away had been hell. But it wasn't just because he was given pleasure, it was so much more. With Ken love-making was just what the word suggested. They created love together, became one body, one heart, one mind and one soul. Ran leaned forward and softly licked his lover's lips as he moved faster. They weren't going to last very long but it had been so long and they would have so much time to catch up. The redhead wrapped his slender fingers around Ken's arousal and started stroking him in time with his thrusts. His brain had shut down and his body was going into overload with pleasure. He could already feel that the brunette was close just like he himself was. The pace increased and gasps and moans filled the room. A fast series of well-aimed thrusts sent Ken over the edge. He choked out Ran's name and every muscle in his body pulled together. That was more than the redhead could take, with a hoarse call of his lover's name Ran fell head over heals into climax. They both trembled from the rush and their sweaty bodies pressed together. Ken recovered first and lovingly ran his fingers through the redhead's hair.

He was Ran's again. He had always been Ran's but now his body had the confirmation it had been seeking for eight years. His heartbeat was still rapid and so was his breathing. Ken closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his lover. This was it was all he needed, the only place he wanted to be. It was a sweaty and sticky place to be but Ken loved it just the same. He hadn't felt so alive, happy and complete for eight long painfilled years. Sighing in content the brunette relaxed. Ran's heartbeat had settled down a little and Ken could sense that he was looking at him. Slowly and lazy from satisfaction he opened his eyes to meet his lover's. Reluctlantly the brunette let go of Ran and let out a low groan when the redhead pulled out from him. The warm body settled down beside him and strong arms wrapped around his waist.  
"We should hit the shower," the redhead murmured, his voice thick and sleepy.  
"Mm but I don't wanna move," Ken yawned and shifted so he could put his head on Ran's shoulder.  
"We're sticky and yucky." The brunette chuckled softly. Ran had always been in a hurry to clean up the mess they made.  
"You know messes aren't always a bad thing. I think you're rather sexy all sticky and sweaty," Ken growled playfully and nipped at his lover's skin.  
"Baka. The faster we shower and clean up here the faster I can go to sleep with you in my arms," Ran mumbled and tried to sufficate a yawn. Now that was a tempting thought to Ken.  
"Okay, the shower it is then." Nothing happened, neither one of the two men moved. "Um Ran? You're going to have to get up if we're gonna take that shower." Lazy amethyst eyes met brown.  
"I think I'll just stay sticky, it's too much work to even think about sitting up at the moment." Ken laughed softly and pulled the covers over them.  
"I love you koi, sticky or not." Ran pulled his face up to give him a deep slow kiss.  
"Love you too, now shut up and sleep." The brunette snickered at the mock harshness in Ran's voice but put his head back on the pale chest. His eyes drifted close as he listened to his lover's heartbeat.  
"You were wrong Ran," he suddenly said quietly, almost asleep.  
"About what?"  
"There really is such a thing as second chances in life."

~OWARI~

I'm not sure I liked the way this ended but damnit I just couldn't keep myself from getting them together anymore *chuckles* There we go Ranners and Kenken are together again and they're soooo happy and sweaty and sticky *EWWW* Anyways I'm sorta gonna miss this fic because it was fun writing and crying *snickers* I'm such a bad, bad person, ne? *grins* Well thanks to all you who's been with me during this fic and remember… There is such a thing as Second Chances in life!! *Waves* Ja/Atsureki


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